by Felicia Chew
My Christmas Wish: For Peace for All.
Before reading, please remember that you can click on “Save this post”, and come back to read it later.
Also, while reading, you can stop reading, relax your jaw, shoulders, tongue, teeth, hands, ears, toes, and breathe… in for 4 gently through your nose and out for 7 gently through your mouth, repeating six times to bring your body back to a calmer state.
My name is Felicia. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, and have had many individuals deny this fact. I have been called a professional victim. I have been accused of wanting attention. I have been repeatedly defamed.
I write this not as a complaint, nor as an attack or blame on those who did not understand. In fact my small business mottos include #StopTheBlame #StopTheShame #OurChildrenAreWatching #OurChildrenAreSuffering
I have been told that I cannot be a change agent because I am “too close to the situation”.
Folks have created a group called: “Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by (me).”
Those of you who know me, or who have “followed” me may or may not know the truth of my experiences, and even when being presented with the truth of my experiences, have reconstructed it so it makes sense to you. This is normal.
Some folks don’t want to believe. This is normal.
Some folks want to blame me. This is normal.
Some folks want to blame my peeps. This is normal. (how funny; I typed in “perps”, yet it auto-corrected to “peeps” — which actually works to an extent).
Who am I?
I am a mother.
I am a daughter.
I am a survivor.
I am a thriver.
I am a woman of beauty, intelligence, and amazingness, and wonder and curiosity and desire.
I am human.
My Christmas Wish is for Peace for All.
I Wish that folks would forgive, knowing that is different from forgetting. When we forget, we re-enter unhealthy cycles.
I Wish that folks would be love, knowing that being love has many faces, including tough, coddling, compassionate, empathetic.
When we deny where others are, and try to force folks into being where we want them to be, we result in temporary gains, not long-lasting gains.
I Wish that folks would extend grace, knowing that grace is different from judgment. We see the tips of folks; we cannot see what is beneath the surface. And sometimes, folks believe and become what others say, rather than what is truth.
Peace comes in a variety of ways. Whether it is retreating to a personal Gethsemane, or reciting mantras like: “Let it go”; “It is what it is”, or indulging in hedonistic pleasures.
Peace comes in different forms.
My Christmas Wish is for Peace for All.
Yes, we could argue that peace comes after defeating the enemy; peace comes from fighting. I believe that Peace comes from being empowered, from having the ability to fight, and from causing fear in an opponent that they do not want to fight.
To those who have felt wronged by me; to those who I have unintentionally wronged for reacting instead of responding; to those I have reacted to because of emotional immaturity, and because of being human: I apologize.
I cannot claim a pure heart because I know my heart has been tainted. What human heart hasn’t?
My Christmas Wish is for Peace for All. For an understanding that while living in corrupt environments, fighting causes individuals to become defensive, and perpetuates the endless cycle.
Responding with love.
Setting boundaries.
Walking away.
Being still.
Eventually, bullies find someone else to bully.
Follow, be an example, and recognize how others can become empowered.
Hold true to You and Your Inner Peace.
Kalamajong ❤ Felicia
We are each a piece of the puzzle of life 