Control versus Connection

The Situation:

Thinking about what Gabby has written (click on the image above to see the original post on Facebook):

“7 years ago we said never again after 12 people were shot and killed at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. 70 more people were injured that night, some of whom can no longer walk.

Remember them. We know how to prevent these shootings, and we owe it to victims and survivors to pass them.”

I am pausing on “we know how to prevent these shootings… pass them.”


“Pass them.”

I think she is referring to Legislation.  Ending the sale of bump stocks etc.  However, if we look at history with Prohibition, and with the current problems with drug cartels (the secret trading and deals that occur that are against the law)… we can see that legislation is really only a piece of paper.

“Passing more laws” can be helpful, so that the Court of Law can uphold them; however, even then, it is up to the interpretation of the Courts (Judges and attorneys).

Even when people overcome their fears and report secret activities that are unsafe and unhealthy for others (e.g. “secret trades”), the System can (and often does) pardons the “bad guys”, and punishes the “good guys”.

This is why it is so important to hold the systems accountable… not to run, but to stay and do what we can to make things better.

Problems in The System

What happens when the system powers are narcissistic?  You could try to remove them from power; however, their ability to influence would still exist.  Think about how “crime lords” are able to operate from behind bars.  Sure, we have seen justice served inside the prison walls to the pedophiles and those who commit crimes against the most innocent and vulnerable.  And, in my experiences, I have never heard of those involved in those murders receiving “consequences”  Maybe that’s because we secretly want those individuals to perish, but don’t want our hands to be bloodied.

(Note: One of the side effects of my trauma is that I am able to fly through an informed decision making chart more quickly than others, since I had to be able to quickly identify if any particular action would result in my abuser acting out, and blaming me.  In the world of domestic abuse/violence, we call this “walking on eggshells” when the victim is controlled by fear.  When the victim starts to realize the pattern and be more mindful,  we call this “informed decision making”).

That being said, implementing “tougher gun control / guns sense laws” only serves to further drive a wedge between “THE LEFT” and “THE RIGHT”.  Shaming and blaming occur, and the People suffer.

Personal Story

As a veteran teacher in schools (including public, Tribal, and private), a divorced parent (who has experienced domestic abuse/violence), a victim advocate (formerly for the County, and now privately for the community), I can see the corruption (like a computer file that gets corrupted by a virus) that exists in our system.

An Analogy

We need to isolate the virus.  After isolating the virus, we can attempt to find out what caused it, and the key points that require recoding (sometimes one simple flip) to transform its deadly powers into non-deadly powers.  If we try to eliminate it, it adapts, and becomes stronger.  (Consider the words “embrace” and “unbrace” which have completely opposite meanings).

This virus analogy is applicable when discussing the criminal minds in our communities.  With attempts to control a criminal mind, it becomes stronger.  So, the current American model is to punish the individual.  Sheriff Arpaio took that one step further, and worked on breaking the entire spirit of his inmates.. like some cowboys worked to break the spirit of a “wild stallion”.  I suppose people will claim that it is appropriate,  since the Bible states that man was given permission to rule over the animals and the land.

Finding the Solution

Why are these “senseless” shootings happening?

They are happening because the current American model is that the key to happiness is to have Power and Control.  Some folks have the misconception that a firearm will give them power and control.

What Can We Do?

  • Bust the myths
  • Build one another up
  • Stop blaming
  • Stop shaming
  • Listen
  • Do the right thing
  • Love one another
  • Help one another stay accountable to their desires
  • Set policies that help people stay healthy and safe
  • Spend government money on things that bring happiness and are healthy and safe for each of us and all of us
  • Speak up.  Share our stories and perspectives.
  • Have courageous conversations.
  • Recognize that each of us is beautiful, intelligent, and amazing
  • Give one another time to grow
  • Understand that we cannot control anyone else
  • Understand that we are each connected
  • Understand that a slight change in implementation can result in a huge change in outcome
  • Understand that we are dependent on one another
  • Recognize that we are a piece of the puzzle of life.  Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.
  • Realize that many of us our operating in low-levels of crisis
  • Realize that many of us are high-functioning with anxiety
  • Become trauma informed
  • Have trauma informed conversations when making solutions.
  • Recognize that we don’t know what we don’t know
  • Remember that people are not mind readers
  • Realize that implicit biases exist
  • Realize that most of us are doing the best that we can
  • Realize that most of us don’t want to hurt others
  • Realize that some of us are so hurt by people and events that we don’t see value in ourselves… and when we don’t see value in ourselves and others, we are more likely to hurt others and ourselves
  • Recognize that many of us think we understand, when we understand nothing.
  • Understand that Ego and Self exist in each of us.
  • Know that I believe in us, and have faith in humanity.

Please share your stories and perspectives with us!  Email us at: feliciachewcommunityprojects@gmail.com20190615_204048

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New Group: Help End Systemic Domestic Violence – Advocacy

The Facebook group “Help End Systemic Domestic Violence – Advocacy” has been created.  Please contact us if you would like to be added to the group

Let us do the work to update current legislative policies to include coercive control and to further protect and empower victims and survivors on the courtroom.  The welcome message to the Group is below:


FB_IMG_1556115235606Hi,

I invited you to this group because you and I at one point had a conversation about how we could make things better by helping to end systemic domestic violence. (I wrote more info in the “About/Description” of this group.)

I would like to be intentional in passing these bills in the next legislative session, and I am hoping you can help. (The drafts are at http://www.feliciachew.com/dvssleg, and a description of the work that was done is available at http://www.feliciachew.com/dvssadvocacy)

WHAT I KNOW:
The bills need sponsors (several Reps and Senators have expressed interest, including Rep Kirsten Engel, Rep Pamela Powers Hannley, Senator David Bradley and Senator Steele. I have also reached out to Rep Mitzi Epstein, Rep Alma Hernandez, Rep. Finchem, and a few other Representatives.) Former Rep Todd Clodfelter and I worked together to try to open a docket (not sure if that is the right term); however, it was too late.

WHAT I DON’T KNOW:
I have never been through this process before, so I don’t know the “due” dates, and I also don’t know what I don’t know.

WHAT I (UNDERSTAND/THINK I) NEED:
I am in need of individuals who will help in the following ways (forgive me for using my style of middle school classroom teacher je Shakespeare language… it is the language I speak):

1. Materials/Tools/Resource Gatherers – Folks to help bring information about what else is being done (there is a lot being done; however none of what is being done addresses the gaps that are included in the current drafts)

2. Editors/Commentators – Folks to read the drafts and help edit them

3. Publicity/Word Spreaders/Outreachers – Folks to get buy in from the community that Domestic Violence is real, and we need to do something differently from what we are doing

4. Testifiers – Folks who will go to the Legislative sessions to speak out.

I hope you are still interested and able in helping to make things better by helping to update the Legislative policies.

Thank you. Kalamajong,

Felicia Chew
http://www.feliciachew.com/enddv
feliciachew19@gmail.com
520.909.3888

#StopTheShame #StopTheBlame #OurChildren

“We are each a piece of the puzzle of life. Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.”

Excerpt from ” Breaking the Victim-Offender Cycle” (pages 2-4)

FB_IMG_1560970527192Offense #1.
– Hey, that was offensive.
– It was?
-Yeah.
-Sorry. I didn’t mean to be offensive.
-Okay, I forgive you.

Offense #2.
– Hey, that was offensive.
– It was?
– Yeah.
– Sorry. I didn’t mean to be offensive.
– You said that last time.
– I did?
– Yeah.
– Oh…. well. This time I mean it.
– Okay, I forgive you.

Offense #3.
– Hey, that was offensive.
– It was?
– Yeah.
– Sorry. I didn’t mean to be offensive.
– You said that the last two times.
– I did?
– Yeah.
– Oh… well… maybe I should go talk to someone about that.
– Okay, I forgive you.

Offense #4.
– Hey, that was
– Offensive. You’re right. (Deep breath). I am working on it. I am sorry.
– Okay, I forgive you.

The process may take several weeks, because changing a habit is a hard thing to do. However, it is possible.

Offense #8.
– Hey,
– Offensive.
– Yeah. But I think you are doing better.
– Thanks. I’m going to keep working on it.
– Okay.

The frequency of the offenses should start to lessen, as the offender intentionally works to make things better. If the recipient shares the story with others unfamiliar with this practice (where people want things done quickly), there may be some doubt casting on the techniques.

If the scenario had been different, and after Offense #3, the offender showed no signs of remorse, this would be a red flag. The recipient could say: “Hey, thanks for hanging out, but you’re offensive, and not changing, and I am not okay with that.” The recipient could then choose to continue the relationship, or take another path. At that point, the offender could become angry, or just choose another path as well.

Whether the offender becomes angry and pursues the recipient, or chooses another path, an order of protection, or injunction against harassment could be issued. At that time, an advocate who is trained in mental health disorders should enter the scene and work with the offender, the offender’s family and friends, the recipient, and the recipient’s family and friends.

This may sound heavy-handed to individuals; however, it is important to realize that an Order of protection and an injunction against harassment can be quashed.

This also means that there should be monitoring of individuals who continue to have Orders and injunctions placed against them, and monitoring of individuals who are repeatedly the recipient’ of the offenders’ actions.

This also means individuals who are falsely accused of incidents should be “pardoned”, and the falsely accused should receive guidance on how to respond when confronted with the allegations.

This also means that individuals who harass or slander alleged offenders should be addressed, and receive educational experiences that help them understand the nature of false allegations, and how to be a better ally.

It may be observed that recipients are the instigators, and therefore they are they actual offenders.

What we know is that water can smooth the rough edges on rocks, and eventually erode rocks into sand. Our lives are full of learning and growing daily. Rocks and sands are the same but different. We can be the same but different.

That being said, wisdom tells us that we should be intentional and mindful when determining the content and the responses to conflict in institutions of education.

-“Breaking the Victim-Offender Cycle”
pages 2-4

#RockOn #BeLikeWater #Patience #Nurture


http://www.feliciachew.com

Felicia Chew on Bullying : Interacting with Parents

Screenshot_20190613-070852_Facebook

My heart is sad and angry.

**NOTE: This incident was not in Tucson; however, bullying exists in public schools in Tucson. Ask the parents of kids who were pulled from the public schools.**


I read an article this morning on my Facebook feed “Mom Arrested After Entering Elementary School and Confronting Son’s Alleged Bullies” (http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/us-and-world-news/mom-arrested-after-entering-elementary-school-and-confronting-sons-alleged-bullies) tells the story of a mother who was arrested for speaking up. Was her method appropriate? What other choices did she have?

The article is another example of people not believing the victim…
The victim (and his mother) have been issued a “No Trespass” for the school. Previous to that, the victim was “isolated” for his protection.

Really? Yes, really.

I have included sections below that I found to be notable from the article, with my comments at the end of each section after the “–>”


Bullying is also a problem here in Tucson.

Schools can do better! Stop the school to prison pipeline by implementing restorative and transformative practices CORRECTLY. There is no shame in asking for help. However, schools should feel the guilt for not ensuring the safety and well-being of ALL students.

“Bullying and suicide, colloquially referred to as “bullycide”, are considered together when the cause of suicide is attributable to the victim having been bullied, either in person or via social media…The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) states that approximately 4,400 deaths occur from suicide each year. There are about 100 attempts of suicide to every 1 successful suicide. A little over 14% of students in high school consider suicide and approximately 7% of them attempt suicide. Students that are bullied are around 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims.[13] A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying. 10 to 14 year old teen girls are most likely to commit suicide based on this study. According to ABC News, nearly 30% of students are either victims of bullies or bullies themselves and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because they are scared of being bullied.[14]”(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying_and_suicide)

Matt Kopec, you took me to Court, and kept me from having the opportunity to be on the ballot for Amphitheater Public Schools. Do you realize that there is bullying in the Amphi Schools, and you have overworked and exhausted staff who unintentionally exacerbate the problem?

What are you doing to #EndBullying?

#ChewBitesBack


Here are sections I found to be notable from the article, with my comments at the end of each section after the “–>”

http://www.fox2detroit.com/news/us-and-world-news/mom-arrested-after-entering-elementary-school-and-confronting-sons-alleged-bullies

“The interaction soon got emotional, and according to a police report as well as the Greeville County School District, Jamie Rathburn was seen yelling at a group of kids and a teacher.” –> of course she is emotional! She was frustrated that the school was ignoring her and her kid!

“…pointing her finger in a threatening manner.” –> (sarcasm, and probably not politically correct to say: was she going to Poke them to death?!?)

“Beth Brotherton, director of communications for the Greenville school district said that Rathburn had admitted she did not know who the bullies were, but Rathburn insists she did.” –> abuse of power, speaking for the victim

“Brotherton said there had been several isolated incidents between Rathburn’s son and fellow classmates but she said it was nothing that would constitute bullying, which she defines as repeated behavior by a specific individual or specific group of people.” –> if this is the policy, it should be amended to includ the phrase “or pattern”

“According to Brotherton, some of the specific incidents involved another classmate making faces or telling Rathburn’s son that his haircut was “silly,” but Rathburn insists the treatment of her son was closer to harassment.
– “He was told that he was ugly, that he was stupid, nobody cared, and he was called gay, he was cussed out, and when he reported those things he was told to ignore it,” Rathburn said. –> verbal and emotional abuse. Have we not been paying attention to the number of death by suicide of bully victims?
– She says that these incidents continued to occur over the course of the school year and eventually became violent, saying that he was thrown off a ladder slide by his neck and even hit with a computer. –> of course the school will deny… they could lose their jobs! When are we going to start admitting we don’t have eyes on the backs of our heads, and we need to help our students understand that doing the right thing is more valuable than being cool?
– She said that her son had scratch marks on his neck as well as bruises and when she tried to show the principal, they did nothing. The school district, however, insists Rathburn’s allegations are simply a case of “boys playing rough.” –> enough with this “boys will be boys” attitude! They don’t need to “play rough”; they do need to expend energy. Teach them how to do it healthily and healthfully.
– “There were several different students over the course of the year who he did not get along with or weren’t the nicest kids in the room or said something unkind,” said Brotherton. –> Obviously there was a situation, and someone should have intervened.
– The child who allegedly threw Rathburn’s son off the slide was disciplined according to the school’s disciplinary guidelines, Brotherton said. –> pardon me, but “throwing someone off a slide” sounds really dangerous… I wonder what the “disciplinary guidelines” were, and if the child who did that continued to bully or harass in other ways. If not, this was apparently an effective consequence — which still begs the question : where was supervision, and why would a child think it was okay to throw someone off of a slide?!?!?
– On the day of her arrest, Rathburn had posted a video a Facebook live video where she said she was on her way to give the school a “piece of her mind,” which prompted a “concerned citizen” to inform law enforcement.” –> “concerned citizen”… where was the concerned citizen when the bullying was happening? again this all constitutes a pattern. Bullies adapt so they can survive… they are not going to do the exact same behavior over and over again, AND they are going to use more subtle techniques, coercive techniques that can result in “he said, she said”.

“Rathburn has since sincerely apologized for her behavior but says she was just fed up with how her son was being treated. –> based on the social media comments, lots of people agree with Rathburn
– She said the school had isolated her son from the rest of the class for her son’s safety but felt it was retaliation for her behavior and persistence in trying to get the school to do something about the bullying. –> punishing the victim.
“I understand what I did was wrong. Like I said, I don’t condone it. I don’t recommend it. I wish I could change it. I can’t change it though, the only thing I can do is apologize, because that is sincere, and try to push forward and put the spotlight on what the real issues are, and that’s bullying,” Rathburn said.” –> Punishing the victim

“Rathburn is currently on a no trespassing notice in which her son will not be able to return to Greenbrier Elementary School but will still be allowed to attend another school in the district. –> So maybe the problem is with someone at the school or with the policies (e.g. Administrator and/or Board Members <– they have the power, authority, and responsibility to ensure the safety and learning for ALL students).
– “Anyone who chooses by their own admission to illegally sneak into a school building, yell at a hallway full of 8 and 9-year-old children, and curse an elementary school teacher in front of those children is going to get put on a no trespass notice and not be allowed back into the school for the rest of the year,” said Brotherton.” –> I’m just wondering with all of this threat of school shootings… how was it that this mom was able to be “berating” the bullies for so long?


Bullies are likely to become perpetrators of domestic violence. Help end systemic domestic violence by ending bullying.

FB_IMG_1560437247762


http://www.feliciachew.com/enddv

 

Power and Control Awareness Activity: Struggle For Power and Control – Joe Biden and Politics

Our small business, Felicia Chew Community Projects, has three arms: Education, Advocacy, and Outreach. Each arm encourages individuals to Think and Speakup.

Our Mission is to End Systemic Domestic Violence. Domestic violence perpetuates due to the struggle for Power and Control. We and our communities struggle with Power and Control in most aspects, especially in Politics.

Screenshot_20160629-175733

The end to Domestic Violence is when victims and survivors have a Choice of whether they remain in the Power Dynamic. The end to Systemic Domestic Violence is when the Court systems, and Societal Norms change so that victims and survivors are not forced to stay in situations where they have no Control.

While there are many physical acts of violence, including final acts of homicide and suicide, there are also many plays for Power and Control over another individual through the use of Coercive Control. On the offender side, it is important to identify when actions are for Power gain, and when they are subconscious actions resulting from implicit bias, cultural norms, etc.

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Power and Control Awareness Activity: Struggle For Power and Control – Joe Biden and Politics

Background: Joe Biden has been faced with the challenge of changing his habits, due to concerns from community members of how his “touching” made them uncomfortable.

Question: Is Joe Biden “creepy Joe Biden” or simply a man who uses the Physical Touch Language of The 5 Love Languages?

Activity: Consider the following images, which tell the story of Joe and his history of “touching”. Ask yourself questions like:

1. What is the source of the photos (e.g. Business Insider)
2. What are the goals of those who shared information (to Inform? to Persuade? If it is to Persuade, what is their hidden message?)
3. How long does it take to change a habit?
4. Is the information accurate?
5. When is it “bad” to touch someone?
6. When is it “approrpiate” to touch someone?
7. How do you feel when someone touches you without permission?
8. How do you feel when someone touches you with permission?
9. Is Joe Biden trying to control and demean women and girls?
10. Is someone working to spin Joe Biden into a negative light?

Drawing Conclusions: Your conclusion may be different from another person’s conclusion. Remember that is okay. We can choose to find additional information to support our claim. We have the ability to identify if the information is fabricated, or truthful, or somewhere in between. We have the Power to “Let it go”. We have the Power to recognize that we cannot change something or someone else, we cannot control someone or something else, but we can use coping skills to cope with someone or something else.

We have the right and the responsibility to feel anger, love, and any other emotion that we experience.

Others may attempt to control your actions, thoughts, and speech. They may do so under the pretense of love. Remember: The opposite of Love is Control.

That being said, It is not necessary to “Throw the baby out with the bath water”; however, it is important to recognize that Healthy Boundaries include loving touch, loving words, and love.

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Learn more about our Projects and work to End Systemic Domestic Violence at www.feliciachew.com

You can support our Programs with a Purchase of a Black Bottom item, or a non tax-deductible donation at www.feliciachew.com/support.

We hope you have a great day. You are beautiful, intelligent, and amazing! ❤

#BeautifulIntelligentAmazing #TheOppositeOfLoveIsControl #Think #StopTheBlame #StopTheShame #OurChildrenAreWatching


“We are each a piece of the puzzle of life.  Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.”

Felicia Chew on Making Things Better for Each of Us and All Of Us (Not Just Some Of Us) in Pima County

Who is Felicia Chew?  Felicia Chew is campaigning for a seat on the Pima County Board of Supervisors (2020).  This is her third campaign for an elected seat.  Ms. Chew was unsuccessful in gathering enough votes in her first attempt in 2017 (due to an unfamiliarity by the Party), and was knocked off the ballot by an opponent in 2018 (due to an outdated petition policy); however  supporters have been encouraged by her honesty, transparency, and heart.

We hope you will ask questions and see how your vote for Felicia will make things better for members of the Pima County community.

Felicia’s Mission Statement:  Review policies and budgets to ensure services and programs are better for #EachOfUs and #AllOfUs (not just some of us).

Vision Statement: To have programs, services and policies that allow all residents of Pima County to be able to (1) enjoy life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; (2) to benefit from tax dollars being spent; (3) to have a quality of life that allows them to focus on themselves and their families.


I.  Courts

1. Too many gaps and loopholes that make it difficult for individuals who are working a traditional 9-5 work day.

2. Victims, children, and vulnerable people are not supported fully.

3. Restorative practices/options should be more readily available and accessible as alternatives to incarceration.

To Do:

1. Review Court policies and fees, consider all possible funding sources.

2. Fast-track research on Restorative Practices.

3. Fast track alternatives for including night and weekend Court.


II.  Deputies – Too many complaints about, and questionable actions.

To Do:

1. Review and ensure mental health services for members of the Department (all Departments, really)

2. Review Disciplinary Matrix and Alternatives

3. Review pay rate and benefits packages for Deputies (for all Departments, actually).


III. Roads, Transportation, Environment –

Potholes, long wait times for public transportation, inaccessibility problems, environmental impact

To Do:

1. Identify best materials for roads, including using Waste Diversion techniques.


Next Steps.

Ask Felicia a question through Facebook, TwitterEmail, or our Contact Page!  We look forward to hearing from you!


Learn more about the Campaign at www.feliciachew.com/district3

Felicia Chew on Mining and School Resource Officers

This is a repost of a comment on my Facebook page that explains my thoughts on the Rosemont Mines and School Resource Officers for Campus Safety.


“Having SROs normalizes the presence of Law Enforcement. This is actually analogous to why I do not support the Rosemont Mine Project. If we do not support the Mining, and we are able to provide alternatives for energy sources, and provide services for recycling mined materials, then we can let our mines lay fallow until such a time when we need a fresh supply.

That being said if we had no officers, we would be forced to self-regulate and consider other venues.

That being said, there are a lot of bad people out there who do not do well with no regulation. Consider the lootings that happened during the LA Riots. I get being mad at law enforcement, but people were crazy destructive. Consider the number of perpetrators of domestic violence. 1 out of 4 women will experience Domestic Violence. 1 out of 7 men will experience Domestic Violence. Just last week, a woman was murdered by her boyfriend. Timothy Steller has the stats on domestic violence crimes in the city.

That being said, there are so many ways that people can release emotions. Pumpkin smashing is one of them. The Community Food Bank of Southern Arizona hosted one after Halloween last year. And, people can engage in mindfulness and meditation classes, art programs, etc. Our Pima County Public Library receives funds for programs that are free to the community. Our Tucson Parks and Recreation Program has created walking paths in community parks.

We can do more with Programs that are healthy and fun!”

/Felicia


www.feliciachew.com/district3


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Felicia Chew on First Amendment Rights – and Responsibilities: We Have Responsibilities, especially with the First Amendment.

“STICKS AND STONES CAN BREAK MY BONES, BUT WORDS CAN NEVER HURT ME”. <– FALSE

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  May is a reminder for us to be mindful, and recognize the need for us to be mindful of ourselves, and our words and actions.

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Recently, one of my friends published a political cartoon, which I was deeply concerned about.  I wrote about it on Facebook, and the Arizona Daily Star picked up the story.

There have been many comments and conversations regarding First Amendment Rights in the comments section.  I understand, perhaps more than others as a survivor of domestic violence, how important the First Amendment is.  I also believe that it is important to be responsible in what we say, as our words and actions can incite violence towards others.  This type of control is coercive, and it is called coercive control.

What follows is a re-post, which I believe best outlines my sentiments.  As always, please comment below, or send me a private message for any clarifications, or with any comments or questions.

We can make things better.

❤ Felicia

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1.  WHY I AM OPPOSED TO CARTOONS AND RHETORIC DEMONSTRATED BY FITZ’S DEPICTION IN THIS CARTOON:

I think that there are individuals who abuse their Power and Control intentionally, for personal gain – e.g. monetarily or physical.

I also think there are good guys who want to do the right thing and are dragged down through the systems when they speak sternly or firmly to uphold an agreed upon policy that someone else decided to violate.

The latter is the group who I am concerned for.  When Fitz, or anyone, begins to glump people together, as ONE, we have problems.

2. EFFECTS OF CARTOONS/ RHETORIC / PROPAGANDA ON COMMUNITIES

Consider the attacks at people who wear hijabs or MAGA hats. I wear a hat sometimes; however, something I cannot remove is who I am…  I am Chinese-American, born and raised in the States.  I have experienced racism.  I have experienced bullying.  Thankfully, it has not been to the extent of Zhao or Vincent Chin (Chinese man murdered by angry laid off automotive workers who believed the propaganda that all Japanese people were villains… yes, I know, Vincent Chin was Chinese; Asians are commonly mistaken for other Asians).

3. VIOLENCE AND CRIME TODAY ARE A RESULT OF THE STRUGGLE FOR POWER AND CONTROL

There are so many instances of violence, domestic violence, verbal abuse, etc., which can be attributed to Power and Control.

Robberies?  Assault?  Kidnapping?  Petty theft?  All can be brought back to Power and Control (lack of, and desire to have).  Gang violence.  Domestic violence.  Police brutality.  All linked back to Power and Control.

When people feel powerless, or not in control, people typically respond with one of the three crisis responses:  fight, flight, or freeze.

4. OVERCOMING THE STRUGGLE BY USING MINDFULNESS – SCHOOL EXAMPLE

Recently, a movement has begun in schools, teaching mindfulness and meditation instead of punishment when students make bad choices.  As far as I know, there is no empirical data to demonstrate that this technique works… because teachers and staff are so tied up with trying to take standardized tests (which are biased…. but that is another conversation).

Ask a teacher or staff member who has properly* utilized these “alternative” methods of “discipline” /transformative and restorative practices (*Note: Many teachers think they are using these practices, but they are not), and you will hear that students are transformed.

5. EXPANDED EXPLANATION OF EFFECTS OF POLITICAL CARTOONS ON NON MINDFUL COMMUNITIES

When we see political cartoons, like what Fitz created, and we are not mindful, we react:  “Yeah!  I heard stories about other instances of police brutality!  Like Rodney King!  Damn!  That was back in the 80’s!  F*@# the cops!  Still the same group of a**holes that they were back then. Smgdh.”

Or, we hear the echoes of “Murder patrol.  Murder patrol.  Murder patrol.  MURDER PATROL!!!” down the halls of a University.  Oh, the irony.  That we have not spoken up and recognized that one Border Patrol member does not represent all Border Patrol members.

6. WHAT WE CAN DO – SYSTEMS AND COURTS

This is why I have suggested several times that individuals be held accountable (and my understanding is that each of the BP agents who were accused have participated in the process.)  Here is what we have noticed, but we continue to be lacksadaisical with – The Courts.

Instead of working on the Courts INjustices, and addressing our current County Attorney’s decision to continue to ignore which cases are tried, and our County and City decisions on what evidence to process (e.g. the rape kits that sat on the shelves), our current BOS works on their agenda, which includes purchasing an historic iconic family and community recreation center, and bringing in the complete opposite crowd.  People on probation.  That being said, I believe that we are no better than those convicted of crimes.  However, how does it make any sense to say: “That area (Miracle Mile) is where they need these services” as a justification?

7. WE CAN MAKE THINGS BETTER IF WE DO BUSINESS DIFFERENTLY

What if we dealt with the real issues that affect poverty?  Like insufficient transportation for parents to get to work in a timely manner, so they can spend time with their families, and teachers who complain about how “they” have to raise the kids because of “deadbeat parents” will no longer have to complain.

What if we used better materials for roads that are better for our environment, and cost less?

What if we stopped nickel and diming people who try to raise civil issues in the Court systems?

What if we had policies formed for protecting people, out of common sense, and not based on fear and ego?

8.  MY NAME IS FELICIA CHEW AND I AM CAMPAIGNING FOR THE DISTRICT 3 SEAT ON THE PIMA COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS (2020)

These are some of the reasons why I am campaigning for a seat on the BOS.

I am a Constitutionalist and a process/systems thinker.  I am an English teacher who recognizes the loopholes and gaps that people take advantage of, due to language interpretations and perspectives.  I am a mom who wants things to be better for my kids, their kids, all kids.

9. THANK YOU.  WE CAN MAKE THINGS BETTER.

Thanks again for sharing the story of Zhao.  Let’s make a change and stop the cycles of violence.  We cannot control others.  We can change policies. We can have budgets that are not wasteful.  We can make things better.

Thanks for reading to the end,
Felicia
www.feliciachew.com/support
www.feliciachew.com/enddv
www.feliciachew.com/district3

Felicia Chew on (Sex) Education in the Schools

Note: This was written March 13, 2019, and fell into the Draft folder.


The linked article “Comprehensive sex education could be required in Washington’s public schools” is not from Pima County, however, the lack of sufficient health (physical and mental) education in the County would benefit from being addressed.  The article identifies some of the most commonly heard arguments against education regarding health:

““Why would we promote that type of confusion for our young children?…I  am talking curriculum that absolutely introduces confusion when its not the public education’s place to do so, nor should we be using taxpayer dollars to fund ‘how to have sex’ curriculum for young children.”… sexual education should be administered by parents at home so that it more accurately aligns with each family’s values.”

This linked article “‘Pure Genocide’: Over 6,000 Nigerian Christians Slaughtered, Mostly Women and Children” also did not happen in Pima County; however, I have witnessed division between groups here in the County.

This linked article “Why Did the Christchurch Shooter Name-Drop YouTube Phenom PewDiePie?” also did not happen in Pima County; however millions, including our youth, are followers of Pewdiepie.

You might be wondering: “Why is Felicia bringing up articles about genocide and a YouTuber when writing about Sex Education?”

I am writing about genocide and a YouTuber because the decision to teach Sex Education in public schools is more than just about teaching Sex Education.  Teaching Sex Education is Education that addresses:

  • Acts of genocide (due to a lack of education from different perspectives);
  • The fear of our youth (being influenced by YouTubers which can be quelled through proper education);
  • Health education, which includes physical, mental, emotional, sexual education and mindfulness provides a firm base for our youth to make informed choices in a world that will not always agree with our beliefs and perspectives.

Please note: I am not intending to promote particular religious, sexual, nor YouTube  practices.  I acknowledge the influence that I have, and would like to remind each of us that we have the ability and responsibility to make choices, including asking questions, staying silent, taking action, or remaining still.  However, we do not have the right to control others.

Thanks for reading.  Please comment below with any questions, comments, etc.  Please share your perspective, and subscribe and share this blog.

❤ Felicia


Felicia’s education story:

I started attending public school at age 5, in California.  I attended through Grade 12.  I was a GATE (gifted and talented) kid, growing up in the charter school and ability-grouping era.  I was a part of my junior high newspaper, a soccer player and cheerleader in junior high, President of the French Club, Vice President of the Future Business Leaders of America, and Concert Mistress of the school orchestra in high school.  I participated in the ROP (similar to JTED) Cosmetology Program the summer between my junior and senior years, but was told to drop the program when senior year started, so I could take Orchestra and French, so my college application would look better.

I enrolled in the University of California, Davis as an Econ major.  I wanted to be the CEO of a company.  My Major changed a couple times… to English, and then to Asian-American Studies (it did not exist at UCDavis, so I modeled it after the program at UC Berkeley).

I graduated with a BA in Asian-American Studies and a minor in English.  I took a few years off, then enrolled in the Teacher Credential program, where one of my favorite lessons was in our Technology class, and we listened to the song “Roses are Red”, and

I had become a “leader” (small group, music, and prayer) within the Christian/Catholic groups I was involved with during college, and remained active with Churches until 2011:  from 1989-2004, I lived in California, and I participated in Baptist and Protestant church activities and programs;  from 2004-2011, I lived in New Mexico and I participated in Catholic, Christian Reform, and “Home Church” activities and programs.  In 2010, I wrote a musical called “Jesus Is A Cowboy”.  In 2011, I moved to Tucson, and have visited several churches sporadically since then.

I have worked with countless students in numerous roles in California, New Mexico, and Arizona:

  • I worked as a bus monitor and substitute campus supervisor in California;
  • I worked as an instructional aide in a Resource Room in California and in Tucson;
  • I worked as a Specialist with a Down’s Syndrome student in California, and as a substitute in a class with autistic students in Tucson;
  • I worked as a
  • I worked as an English, History, Art, Music, ELL, Character Values, Social Studies, GATE, and STEM teacher in California, on the Zuni Indian Reservation, in New Mexico, and in Tucson;
  • I worked as the Coordinator of Student Study Teams and Facilitator of 504s in California;
  • I worked as Principal of a Junior High Summer School in California;
  • I worked as District Coordinator of Interventions Programs in California
  • I have worked with Native (Navajo Nation) and Pueblo (Zuni) students, and a variety of individuals in various communities, always seeking to meet individuals where they are.
  • I believe that we are each a piece of the puzzle.  Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.

    www.feliciachew.com

October 2 Call to the Audience – Pima Co Board of Supervisors

Good morning,

My name is Felicia Chew.  I am a resident of Pima County, and founder of Felicia Chew Community Projects, working to help end systemic domestic violence by building relationships through sharing stories, art, and perspectives.

I am here this morning to share about why October is significant to me.  October is domestic violence awareness month. I am a survivor of domestic violence.

In February of 2011, I moved to Pima County, unaware that I had been a victim of domestic violence.  It was through the responses of the Tucson Police Department, Marana Police Department, and programs like Emerge! and the County Attorney’s victim advocate program that I recognized that I was a victim.

Seven years after moving to Pima County, I am able to say that I am a survivor of Domestic Violence.  I volunteer, with approximately 100 other community members, as a victim advocate through Barbara Lawall’s office.  The Victim Advocate program has been recognized across the nation as an excellent model. Pima County has been a leader in being an advocate to victims’ rights.  To human rights.

One of the reasons that Domestic Violence perpetuates is because victims are afraid to speak up.  People are afraid to speak up because relationships are lacking. Relationships are lacking because we are becoming increasingly limited with venues for building relationships. Relationships build trust, trust allows people to speak up.  People speaking up reduces crime. Reduced crime takes us out of crisis mode. Being out of crisis mode allows us to trust and to build relationships… which reduces crime.

I ask that you be innovative and a leader in finding a way to fuse the reduction of crime by building up community relationships.  Golden Pin Lanes builds relationship. Consider local models like Antigone books, who experienced a recent employee buyout; and longstanding co-op models, like the Food Conspiracy Co-op.  Consider the Aquatics Program. Tap into and build up existing resources, like Golden Pin Lanes to help create a happy, healthy community in the Miracle Mile area, and to revitalize the Oracle Area.

I would like to invite you to Tuesdays for Tucson tonight at La Cocina from 5-10p to help end systemic domestic violence with Al Perry, Church Ink tattoo Parlor, and the Tucson Quilt Project.

I would also like to invite you to the monthly Walk-a-Mile at Jacobs Park, the first Saturday of each month, beginning at 8am.  This month we will be recognizing a sixth grade student for participating in the Tucson Zines Writing Challenge, sharing about a problem in Tucson – hot cars.  Registration and pre-walk activities begin at 8am. The Writing Challenge recognition will be at 9:15am, and the Walk, from Jacobs Park to Miracle Mile and Golden Pin Lanes, will begin at 9:30am.