Morning Pages – August 17, 2019


Stop the stigmatism, judgment, hate, and guilt.

Planned Parenthood provides healthcare for women, not just abortions.

My name is Felicia Chew, and I am a former worship team, bible study, prayer group leader. I believe that (a) the Holy Spirit is in each of us; (b) Some individuals may have a different name for the Holy Spirit; (c) We are all connected through the Spirit.

That being said, during the time of the Kings, the People asked God to give them a King. In spite of God’s warnings, clarification questions, and comments of what it would mean to live under a King (and not God), the People chose God.

That being said, a sperm and a egg create a zygote which becomes a fetus. Is the Spirit of God present in that embryo? Yes. The Spirit always exists, whether it is in embryo form, human form, or another form. If that form ceases to exist, that Spirit moves away from that form, and is still a part of the Spirit.

That being said, Scriptures teach us that one of the deadly sins is lust. What comes from lust? Sex. What comes from sex? Babies. What happens when people have no interest in the babies, and consider them to be only a “by-product” of lust? Stigmatism. Judgement. Hate. Guilt.

What comes of being a victim of stigmatism, judgment, hate, guilt? A desire and need to get rid of whatever is causing the stigmatism, judgment, hate, guilt — aka abortions.

We know that women were performing self-abortions, and dying, at high rates before abortions became “legal”.

We also know that many families are burdened with children who they have difficulty caring for.

What’s the solution? Planning for a baby, and ensuring the potential parents are ready for children… having a Planned Parenthood.

Unfortunately, like many systems in our society, processes are changed, and programs are changed through another deadly sin – slothfulness. With individuals being slothful, plans are only half-formed, if formed, and ill-formed.

The Judges come out, and further stigmatize, judge, hate, and guilt the potential parents. So, in shame, they choose to rid themselves of the source of the stigma, judgment, hate, and guilt.

What’s the solution? There are many potential paths. The ones I like are:

(1) Sex Education, with honesty, without fear. Having sex feels good. Check out the Book of Songs. Sex is not a sin.

(2) Connect barren couples who want children with those who conceive; do it without it costing an arm and a leg and a spleen; do it without stigma, judgment, hate, and guilt.

That’s it. My two suggestions.

Who hurts when we argue over pro-life, pro-choice, you’re wrong, you’re right? We do. Our children do.

#StopTheShame #StopTheBlame #StopTheFear #SpeakTruth #StopHurtingOurselves





Be satisfied.



If you need it:
I give you permission to be free and to be happy.


Domestic violence isn’t about love or hate.
It’s about

It’s about
Making you feel less than.

It’s about
Minimizing and diminishing you.

It’s all about them.

I give you permission to
Be free.
Be happy.

If you’re not a victim or a survivor of
Domestic violence,
You don’t understand.
You can’t understand.
You won’t understand.

That’s not a judgment about you
Or your abilities
Or inabilities.

It’s just a fact.

When you have experienced prolonged
Abuse of power and control,
You are
Taken and
You lose yourself.
You are in a rut
And even when you think you are out of the rut
You are still in the rut.

Your mind has experienced trauma.
Positive cognitions
can help, and will help.

Be patient with yourself.
I give you permission to heal in your time.
In your space.
I give you back
Control over your life.
I am sorry for your experiences.

Be free
Be happy.


Because I get self-focused and don’t say it enough:
Thank you. And…
I’m sorry.

Thank you for the times you have
Lifted me up
Given me permission
Validated me
Called me on something
Held me accountable
Trusted me
Forgiven me

I’m sorry for anytime you felt that I was not present
Or did not respond the way you hoped I would
Or if you felt like I ignored you
Or if you felt less than because of me.

As an explanation —
I have anxiety.
I don’t like large crowds.
I don’t like being the center of attention.

You might be saying:
But you (fill in the blank)

I have been told that I am an extrovert.
I have fooled myself into being something that I really am not.

I have done it out of necessity, out of survival.
That being said,
I love people.
I love humanity.

I hate people’s selfishness, judginess, and hatred.
I hate people trying to control others.

Hate is not a bad word.
Anger is not a bad word.

Crying is not a bad action.

Shaming and guilting others… that’s the problem.
So if all ya’ll who shame and guilt others would stop,
That’d be nice.


“We are each a piece of the puzzle of life.  Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.”


It’s 2a.m.



I wake up at 2am
Every day
At 2am
And I used to lay there
Rigid straight flat
As a board
Not moving a muscle
Afraid almost almost afraid
To breathe
To draw
Your attention to me
As you worked?
Watched porn?
Communicated with “God”?

I don’t know what it was
That you were doing
But I knew
There would be hell to pay
If you knew
That I knew
What you
Were doing.

So I lay there
Hardly moving moving hardly
And tried to go
To sleep
But the harder I tried
The more I stayed awake.

So I just laid there.

And waited.

I wake up at 2am.
You’re lying by me.
I close my eyes
And fall back asleep.

I wake up.
It’s 6am
I slept through the night.
I was so relieved relieved so was I.

I wake up
It’s 2am
No one in the bed
Beside me.
I’m alone.
I lie there.
I sit up.
I stand up.
I create.
I draw.
I breathe.

Because I am not alone.
I am here.
Able to share my story my story able to share

Thank you
For letting me share
At 2am


Please join us at the 2019 Domestic Violence Awareness Series in Downtown Tucson on the first two Mondays, last two Tuesdays, and 2nd Sunday at The Screening Room.  Learn more about the Series at .  Learn more about helping to end systemic domestic violence at