Stop the Bullies

They become perpetrators of domestic violence.

When you realize that over half of your life has been dealing with trauma… and your kids’ entire lives have been filled with trauma… and someone calls you a professional victim… you just have to let it go. Because if you don’t, it festers in your soul. And you can’t move on. You’re frozen. Breath leaves you.

People say that Democrats can’t be responsible. Democrats are entrenched. All of these generalizations, stereotypes.

When you realize your whole life has been faced with racism and sexism, and you recognize that your story is different enough from others’, and the words you use are lost in translation… you have a choice. Always a choice.

To press on. To rest.

So you ground yourself. Feel the earth beneath you. And rest.

– A Survivor’s Story, page 322

Ways to respond to a bully:
1. Say: “That’s not nice. Don’t say that.”
2. Say: “There’s nothing wrong with crying.”
3. (Don’t engage.) Be concise.  Use the “Broken Record” strategy
4. Use wit.
5. Kick ’em in the nuts.

Assault is constant, so… we learn about, understand, and set boundaries.

Unfortunately, some bullies will see that as a challenge, so we stand firmly with flexibility, and eventually that will wear them down… the natural bobbing and weaving, where they grow tired because they cannot evolve.

The problem is that bullies will move on to the next victim. So, we continue with outreach, and to educate, advocate, empower, and teach empathy. ❤

“We must end bullying, because bullies grow up to be perpetrators of domestic violence.”

Female boxers fighting in boxing ring
Photo from

The purpose of Felicia Chew Community Projects is to create happy, healthy communities, by providing opportunity for #EachOfUs and #AllOfUs to be empowered through sharing stories, art, perspectives, and wisdom; while teaching Empathy, and providing examples and opportunity for Restorative Practices, because we are Each  a Piece of the Puzzle of Life.  “Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.  Unfortunately  explanations are labeled excuses hy gaslighted and people which do not understand coercive control.  Many people are easily manipulated because they have forgotten how to (or never learned to) #THINK.

To learn more about our work on ending systemic domestic violence,  visit us at 

Epic Rap Battle – FC vs PD

FC: You raised a lot of money/ three times as much as me/ and you spent it on huge mailers/ to crucify me/ they were really really large and they barely fit/ in people’s mailboxes/ properly.

PD: You were a newcomer and I am entrenched/ I’ve got Mayor and others/ in my back pocket/ People know me and they trust me/ for the most part/ People were confused about you/ but you’ve got a big heart.

FC: A compliment you’ve given me/ I’ll give one in return/ But I’ve gotta let you know it might be a sick burn/ Like you care about Solar and Sustainability/ But whatcha gonna do about Systemic Poverty?

PD: You will be so surprised/ With what I do/ You think I don’t get it/ But I was poor, too.

FC: We need better bus systems/ we need equity/ for the people who are living/ in Poverty/ they can’t get to no damn meetings/ in the middle of the day/ without losing a huge chunk/ of their pay.

PD: I’ve got big plans/ to solve these problems that we have/ I might not have manners/ but don’t worry about that/ cause I’ll have a good team/ on the Ward 3 staff/ and we’ll make some changes/ I promise you that.

This rap was inspired by the Elon Musk vs. Mark Zuckerburg – Epic Rap Battles of History  Watch the video at


We’re Doing It Wrong

Sustainable Gatorade, A Shot of Vodka, YHWH, Language, Fear, Crisis for All, Blue Bloods

We’re doing it wrong.  All of it.  Okay, maybe just a lot of it.

  • Education
  • Crime
  • Politics
  • Environmentalism
  • Parenting

This is an episode of raw, because I just had a glass of sustainable Gatorade with a shot of vodka.  What, you ask, is a glass of sustainable Gatorade?  It is a glass of Gatorade that I have begun making for my son’s basketball team, because I got tired of watching all of the plastic wrap and single use containers that were going into the trash.  One of my hashtags is #OurChildrenAreWatching… that includes when we have end of the game snacks for our kids.  (No, a shot of vodka is not added to their Gatorade).

A shot of vodka, while it can be frowned upon by some folks in our communities, really should not be frowned upon.  Fermented drinks are often seen as beverages that help medicinally, or otherwise, in many indigenous cultures.  It is only in America, where we are still a young country, where we find ourselves still in our adolescent years, confused emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and much more.  We argue over words.  We argue over politics.  We argue because our ego and self override our sense of community.

And yet, so many individuals in America hold high their value and honor to God.  Not YHWH, but to God… a God who they have so many interpretations of.  My interpretation:

IF there exists God – The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit; The Holy Spirit resides in each of us (so we are each God); and Thou shalt have no other gods before me;

THEN none of us is above any of us.

Back to words:

  • Toilet to tap versus recycled (or better yet, reclaimed) water.
  • Homeschooling versus unschooling.
  • Oriental versus Asian.
  • Illegal versus undocumented.
  • Excessive discipline versus abuse.
  • Community activism versus crime.  Watching Blue Bloods, Law and Order SVU, Criminal Minds, and more gives me a perspective from law enforcement, albeit via tv shows.  The thing about tv shows is that we know that it is realistic fiction.  Now, when we watch the news, we are sometimes unsure if it is realism or fiction.
  • Childlike versus childish.
  • He or she versus they.
  • Committeman versus committeeperson.
  • Fat versus fluffy.

Fear ends up guiding most of our actions these days. Fear freezes.  Fear causes flight.  Fear causes fight.  Some of us call it Crisis Management.  Some of us call it being a Snowflake.  Some of us call it being weak.  Some of us call it being an Activist.  So many names for so many ways to deal with FEAR.

We’re dong it wrong.

We are trying to force, manipulate, coerce individuals into actions against their will, through the use of guilt, shame, and fear.

I’m tired, Boss.  I’m tired of the fighting, the flight, the freezing.  We need new systems, new processes.  We need to throw out the bath water.  We need to throw out the concept of an eye-for-an-eye, and we need to embrace peace, empathy, love, wisdom, forgiveness, compassion, freedom, choice.

Have a shot of vodka.  Go to a shooting range. Play a video game. Pull the handle of a slot machine.  Buy your kid a mobile device.  Because all of these “sins” are a part of life.  Controlling and manipulating our youth into (or away from) the “sins” of the world cause nothing but harm.  People say:  “The grass is greener on the other side”.  “Leave no stone unturned.” “Ask questions.” “Just say no.” “Just do it.”  With so many idioms (even though Animal Rights folks are working to change “Kill two birds with one stone” to “Kill two birds with one scone” (Glutenist)) we must recognize that WE CANNOT CONTROL what others do or say.  However, we CAN CONTROL the way that we react and respond.

Punitive measures serve no purpose than to further enrage or confuse the accused.  Crisis affects each of us and all of us.  Victims and perpetrators.  No, this is not victim-blaming.  This is fact.  (Stop the distractions.  Pay attention to everything.  All of the details.  Don’t just follow the crowd.  Stop listening to echo chambers.  If we keep doing things the way we have been doing them, we’re gonna keep getting what we’ve got.)

Time to finish watching Blue Bloods.  Trying to figure out who called homeland security on a community activist.

Viva la revolucion para la paiz.

“We are each a piece of the puzzle of life.  Without each of us, our picture is incomplete.”

Chairman Elias Wants to Save Golden Pin Lanes!!

Members of the Core Team met with Chairman Elias yesterday morning. The following is an excerpt of a follow-up email to Chairman Elias, and members of the community including County Supervisors and Administrator, and Mayor and Council:

1. There appears to be a desire to Save Golden Pin Lanes by electeds, as evidenced by the meetings that have been held and are scheduled over the next two weeks, including meetings with yourself, Supervisor Bronson, Councilman Durham, Mr. Huckelberry, and City Parks and Rec Director Davis

2. A decision must be made this month in order for Golden Pin Lanes league bowlers to re-commit to the Bowl.

3. My understanding is that your concern is to have a County owned facility in the Miracle Mile area to provide service to nearby residents who may be dependent on public transportation, specifically the women in need of support services. This is honorable, respectful, and makes sense. It would also be honorable, respectful, and make sense to continue to improve transportation services to keep open Golden Pin Lanes, which provides temporary respite for individuals, including women, walking along Miracle Mile during the heat of the day, and which also provides quality, affordable entertainment for people with lower incomes, and which also provides jobs for members of our community.

4. My understanding is that the City owns the land behind the Westside substation. It has been suggested that the City and County trade parcels (Golden Pin Lanes for the parcel behind the Westside substation). This would make sense, and could follow the model of the Eastside substation and library facilities, while integrating the other facilities that are outlined for the Golden Pin Lanes parcel. I have also contacted Mayor Rothschild regarding the City operating Golden Pin Lanes under the City Parks and Rec program.

5. The Press release is attached for reference.

1. Is the County open to a land trade of equal value with the City (specifically to trade Golden Pin Lanes for a City owned parcel in the desired location)?

2. Would you support this trade?

3. If this trade is supported and approved, can bowlers be informed, so they can sign up for 2019 leagues?

1. Saving Golden Pin Lanes is important and significant to members of the Core Team and members of the community. We have submitted over 1000 signatures on paper petitions, and have approximately 400 online signatures.

2. The inability to move this process along more quickly was due to uncertainty of who to contact to move the process along.

3. The lack of attendance at all Calls to the Audience is not due to disinterest in Saving Golden Pin Lanes, but for many reasons, including work schedule conflicts.

Felicia Chew
Save Golden Pin Lanes
Resident, Pima County, District 3

The press release

For immediate release:

Contact: Felicia Chew


Call/Text: 520.909.3888



The public is invited to the following Meetings and Sessions to provide input regarding the decision by Pima County to close Golden Pin Lanes.

December 3, 2018. 10am Meet with Chairman Elias.  1st floor of the administration building. 120 W Congress Street.

December 4, 2018. 10am. Call to the Audience at Pima County Supervisors Meeting. 120 W Congress Street.

December 4, 2018. 5:30pm. Call to the Audience at Mayor and Council Meeting.  255 W. Alameda.

December 7, 2018. 6:30-8:30pm.  First Fridays with Felicia Bowling FUNdraiser at Golden Pin Lanes.  $10 for 2 hours of bowling, includes shoes and raffle ticket. Additional raffle tickets available for purchase.  Sponsor a bowler! (Save Golden Pin Lanes –– and First Fridays with Felicia – are a part of Felicia Chew Community Projects.  For more info on Projects, visit 1010 W Miracle Mile Road.

December 17, 2018.  9am. Meet with City of Tucson Parks and Rec Director Brent Dennis at the Parks and Rec Conference Room. Randolph Way.

December 18, 2018. 10am. Call to the Audience at Pima County Supervisors Meeting.  120 W Congress Street.

December 18, 2018. 5:30pm Call to the Audience at Mayor and Council Meeting.  255 W Alameda.


Unfortunately, I am not at the discussion session, as I am doing presentations this morning.
The meeting should be in session now.  Some of the members of our Core Team are there.  Look for Kathene (Kathy) Morrow and Rosemary Bolza.
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I texted Rosemary.  Kathy is set to do most of the talking, and I don’t want to disturb her.  I am attaching a photo of all of us 🙂
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Oops!  Here is the photo of our Core Team… (L-R)  me, Rosemary Bolza, Kathene (Kathy) Morrow, Hanson Fotherby… at last month’s “First Fridays with Felicia” at Golden Pin Lanes (which is this Friday, if you want to attend a FUNdraiser to help end systemic domestic violence).

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I heard Hanson did the interview!  Thanks so much for coming out to talk with the group!  Are you able to provide me with a link to the report, and if/when the report will air?
Thank you,
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Time is Running Out…

Talking Points for Saving Golden Pin Lanes

Please attend a public input session, or write a letter to Mr. Huckelberry and the Supervisors, and Mayor and Council.  For dates, locations, and addresses, go to

Golden Pin Lanes is an economic asset to Tucson.

The Bowling center is making money.   It was sold because the owner wants to retire.   The bowling center and pro shop jobs will be lost if it is converted to County services, since the County is relocating services (not increasing services).  Also, through bowling tournaments money comes into Tucson when people travel to Tucson to participate in the tournaments.

Golden Pin Lanes contributes to the health of Tucson.  Bowling is one of the few exercises viable in Tucson in the summer.   It is accessible to all ages, and has adjustments to allow the differently-abled to bowl.

Bowling is important to combat substance abuse.  If Bowling is added to Parks and Recreation offerings, it will engage young people and let them have fun which will make drug use less appealing.

Golden Pin Lanes will/can add resilience to this part of Tucson by serving as a cooling station in times of temperatures over 105 degrees.

Golden Pin Lanes is important as a justice issue.

Bowling is accessible to many people with disabilities it provides fairness in recreation.    The City has golf courses and should also promote bowling.

The Golden Pins Bowling Center can help facilitate the revitalization of the Miracle Mile area.   Saving the bowling center will send the message to residents of this area that the County and City care about their well-being and respect them.   It can lead to historical tourism and a dynamic area.





Homelessness During The Holidays, and Any Day…

Listen.  Have empathy.  Empower others.  Realize that most of us are doing the best that we can.

About homelessness…. there are many reasons for a person’s homelessness.

Have you ever stopped to speak to homeless persons?

People become homeless after…
…leaving a violent relationship;
…caring for an aging parent or a sick child, and running out of sick days and being terminated;
…being unable to live in four walls due to PTSD, anxiety, other challenges;
…and so many other stories…

We have some ideas for “helping the homeless”.  And many of those ideas include forcing people to conform to what is “convenient” for us.

Homelessness should not be viewed as an “inconvenience” to you.  Homelessness is not about you.  Homelessness is about gaps in the community.

We make up stories to scare the community… stories about homeless persons being criminals, monsters, thieves, rapists, spreaders of diseases.

We say we want things to be “better” for them.

In reality,  we want things to be “better” for ourselves.

During this “Holiday” season, I ask that we take time to reflect on the lessons we are teaching our children when we
– hurry our children by a homeless person;
– make derogatory comments;
– wrinkle our noses in disgust, or pity;
– close down public restrooms;
– refuse service to people who appear to be homeless;
– place “anti-homeless” devices on bus benches and park benches;
– mock and shame those who are homeless;
– close down camps where homeless find safety, security, and family.

Instead, invite a homeless person to sit with you for a meal, or pick up something to go…  I am not asking you to buy someone a ten-course meal… just a slice of pizza, or a Sonoran dog, or a hamburger… and to have a conversation, and let them know that they do matter.  Listen.  Have empathy.  Empower others.  Realize that most of us are doing the best that we can.

#EndTheStigma #BreakTheCycle #NotJustASafetyPin

“We are each a piece of the puzzle of life.  Without each of us our picture is incomplete.”