I’m Okay, You’re Okay –“Not Doing So Well” Means We Are Human

Support one another during the holiday season, and every day.

Mayim Bialik says she’s ‘not doing so well’ on Christmas Eve after split from boyfriend

(Click the link to read the full article)

I love her honesty.  It reminds me that people are the same, but different.  I appreciate that she shared her true feelings about “not doing so well”.

“I would be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous. I am single again and it was painful to be ‘alone.’”

– Mayim Bialik

It is okay to be “not doing so well”. In fact, if she *was* “doing well” after a breakup with a boyfriend of 5 years, I would be concerned.  If I am doing my math correctly, they started dating after her divorce.

Her heart is so big, to want to be able to, and to be able to, spend Thanksgiving with her ex, his new beau, and her children.

“We are a family even though we are divorced.”

– Mayim Bialik

Her story shows us that people *can* do the right thing.  In spite of not being connected with her ex, she did the right thing for her children.

We must recognize that we do the best we can in making choices (her choice to marry her ex and have two children).

We must recognize that we may not connect with others the way we thought we would (the divorce and the breakup).

“The government is in a shutdown, it’s Christmas Eve day, I’m newly single and not doing so well to be quite honest.”

– Mayim Bialik

We must recognize that our children deserve to love both parents, and do not deserve to be put in the middle (having Thanksgiving dinner with the ex).

We must recognize that it shows we are human to be “not doing so well” after a break-up.

We must recognize that we can support those, and love those who have recently experienced broken hearts.

“Gingerbread Friends and Family” – Gingerbread Creations by F. Chew, J. Samson, A. Samson, N. Samson, C. Asroth, D. Walker.  Photo by F. Chew

We must recognize that those with broken hearts may lash out, or withdraw, or be unresponsive.   Those are all normal reactions as hearts and minds process through the healing of something unexpected (crisis response to the divorce and breakup).

We must recognize that we grieve and process in our own ways, and at different paces.

We must recognize that we can only control our actions, influence some, and can only be concerned about others.

So, we do the right thing:  We love others — not like we want to be loved — but as *they* need to be loved.

Then, we become educated and educate others.

Help and Support are Available

If you or a loved one are in Crisis, call the Mental Health Crisis Response Center nearest you.  In Tucson, you can also call for a mobile crisis response team at 520.622.6000.

In an emergency, please call 9-1-1, and law enforcement will respond with immediate assistance, and be able to connect you with the Crisis Response Center.  The staff will help you through this very real, very normal, very difficult time, and work with you to create a treatment plan.

Mental health is as important as, if not more important than, physical health.  Remember:  You are not alone, and you are loved!

If you and your family have experienced a divorce, you can join a divorce support group, like Divorce Recovery, Inc.  They can be reached at 520.495.0704

If you are a survivor of Domestic Violence, you may be working through undiagnosed PTSD as a result of the trauma you experienced during the unhealthy relationship; you may also be trying to process through Adverse Childhood Experiences if you witnessed Domestic Violence while a child.  Help is available at Emerge! Center Against Domestic Abuse, through their 24/7 Contact and Crisis Line 1.888 428.0101.  The Jewish Family and Children Services also offers programs to help survivors and victims of Domestic Violence through the healing process.  To schedule an intake, call 520.795.0300.

Wishing Her, You, and Yours Peace and Love This Holiday Season,

❤ Felicia

…sharing stories, art, perspectives, and wisdom

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